Feelings

Recently inspired by a fellow blogger ( Miranda), I decided to pick back up blogging again. I realized that its a unique form of communication that I need to take advantage of. After starting at Pepperdine I started a new blog that was composed of poems and an expression of bottled up emotions as result of sudden transition into the unkown. That aside though, I've noticed that it's time for me to start blogging about particular things again, the ways in which they've effected my life and share with the world, my perspective.

That said, what is a feeling?!?! I believe feelings are a manifestation of a particular emotion that is either bottled up and in need of expression, or simply the way your soul reacts to certain situation. However, the tricky thing about feeling is, how do you know when you're allowed to express them? Do they deserve to be expressed, should they be compressed? How do you know when your "feelings" are right, or when they are stemmed out of selfishnes. This is something personally I've had to struggle with. I never know when it's ok, to honestly show people what I'm feeling. I always think to myself, was there a day in Jesus life where he just wanted to "cuss" out all of his disciples and say "peace out my niggaz... this dyin bidness ain't for me". Ha! but honestly I just feel as though at times, my feelings are overrated and as a result I should be satisfied with "pretending" and carrying on as if the world around me is to my complete satisfaction, in hopes that others are doing the same. But honestly, who wants to live in a world full of people who aren't real? People who are scared to express themselves in fear of judgment. I try to model my life as closely to Christ's as I can, (whew... we all know I fall short ) lol, but the Bible says, "Jesus wept". Jesus heard something he DIDN'T like, he felt the emotion of sadness that cultivated his tears, resulting in a moment of realness. Lesson learned: Jesus was human, Jesus felt emotion, Jesus was real. So, people.... we HAVE to be real and honest! It doesn't mean we have to take it to the extreme where our emotions and "feelings" manipulate our every actions, but it's a representation of who we are! Aaaaaaaaand i'm not even going to front... it's not that easy. Being real, means openning up, openning up means creating the opportunity for judgment, and creating the opportunity for judment means.... wait for it.... maybe getting hurt!!! Butttt, that's just something we have to accept. Jesus did, and so can we.

The funny thing is though, and I can say this from personal experience, you never know when and where, being real creates the opportunity for tremendous blessings. I found that once I agreed to be REAL in Christ, open with my community and those I love about how I was feeling, I realized so many other people were going through the same hurt and pain I was, or had experienced it in the past and had Tremendous advice on what to do.

Moral of the story: Feelings are real, they make you human, feel them, express them, share them, Give them to God, and always remember....There's Growth in the pain.