The in between

Man, I don't even know where to start on this one. I can honestly say however that this is STRAIGHT from the heart. I'm tryna get to sleep but can't because I'm drowning in my own tears. It's gotten to a point where I've forgotten the most important rule....ALWAYS SHARE. When you're going though it's so easy to keep it bottled up inside and let your pride get the best of you, but real talk that is NOT the business. It will eat you from the inside out. God gave us friends so we can share our trials n tribulations, and methods of coping. It's always so weird for me though, cuz you kinda have to find the "in between". There's the person who keeps it all bottled up and lives a life in fear, disappointment, lonliness and incredible heartache all from the lack of sharing and being honest with ppl, then there's the person who shares "too much". That's what sux, you don't want to be THAT person, the one who's always bringing everybody down with their dramatic lives of constant turmoil. There's gotta be some way to find the in between. I know it's hard, but it's sooo necessary.

I dunno I guess I believe that God created us to be social creatures, to learn from one anothers mistakes ( hince the Bible) and to grow alike with eachother. That won't come from frontin and acting like you got your ish together. That's where I'm having the biggest struggle right now, just trying to find those select few who I trust to share and grow with in Christ. Life really is kinda crappy right now, but no matter how crappy it may be and how many tears may fall on this keyboard I can still honestly at the end of the day say, "Thank you Jesus". Because I am blessed to even have a life to call crappy. God is good... we're all children of the king, with an inheritance coming to us. I guess we just gotta walk in that belief.

I will say this though, EVERYBODY has problems. Jesus askes his friends ( the disciples) to stay with him in the garden as he prayed. Jesus also wept. Showing emotion is not a sign of inferiority rather a sign of REALNESS in Christ. Find those few people you trust and be honest... share how you're feeling what's going on in your life and then take it to God in prayer. I'm writing this to you, as much as I am to myself.

Things hurt....challenges keep coming... and i'm barely breathing... but I AM breathing!

Thank you Jesus, and PLEASE help me to share with the few people you've put in my life for me to do so.

The end.