Loving Beyond Salvation.....

Hello loves! Today is Sunday, one of my FAVORITE days of the week! I love it because its one of the days that I really have time to just hang out with God ALL day! I come home from church and it's just me at home with Jesus. Absolutely no other obligations than to literally just Kick it with Jesus. I love doing this, it is so refreshing just being completely honest with God who already knows EVERY detail of my life?!?! Epic! To say the least. This is not to say that I don't have quiet time with God throughout the week, but it's something about being able to worship with your church family on Sunday and enjoy an uninterrupted day with God. It defines my whole entire week and gives me time to really reflect on who I am, as a friend, a sister , a daughter and a best friend. Just to stop and think about things I've done, haven't done, should have done and whether or not they pleased God ya know? Well today I have been reflecting on the semester, and oh boy has it kicked off! It's already the middle of the semester, only seven weeks left! Yikes, it has gone by so quickly and so much has happened. First of all, can I just say that if God hasn't proven himself in my life this semester I don't know who has! He has come through so much for me EVERY time, without a doubt. I'm not talking about the "I've been out partying all night, wake me up for class" or "Lord I need that Gucci" , I'm talking about the Lord I have TWO DOLLARS to my name and my car is on E... I have absolutely no strength in me and have a class to teach... I woke up feeling broken this morning and I know that YOU are not a god of death but Life! I don't know how or what is going to happen today...but I am completely trusting that if I'm obedient to you, and am giving my everything wholeheartedly and excellently unto what you have called me to do you WILL take care of me. I'm not negating those other prayers, that might be what god put on your heart to pray for, I'm just talking about matters of the soul that have really affected my walk this semester. And when I tell you he has every time, that is an understatement he has taken care of me and so much more. Somehow he makes a way for me to have gas in my car, a Holy Spirit inspired energy to reach out to these kids every day with a smile and a hug and the blessing of love in Christ abundantly through some amazing people in my life! I couldn't ask for anything more, this semester has been nothing less than surprising. I never in a million years would have imagined it going this way!

As the saying goes, "With great privilege comes great responsibility". I am learning that more and more and believe that it has everything to do with life in Christ. It's funny because I have been preparing to submit my glee audition, and have been rehearsing John Legend's "Ordinary People" . That song starts off, "Girl im in love with you, This ain't the honeymoon, Past the infatuation phase" and I believe that this has def been a metaphor for my life in Christ this semester. Except it goes like this, "Christ I'm in love with you....This ain't the honeymoon, past the salvation stage". Because that's exactly what I feel like has happened. It's more than just the fact that Christ died for me and I love him so very much and am extremely thankful for it, it's about my day to day with Christ. I love him so much that it's not just the fact that he died for me that makes me continue to love him. It's because He loves me, Mary Tillman-Young, just the way I am. It's because I know that in him I have the best friend in the whole entire world. It's because I know that tomorrow, he will STILL love me, despite how I fall short today. It's because I know him as a healer, a friend, a listener, a provider and am experiencing this every day and noticing it! It kind of reminds me of the relationship many people have with their mother, I know I do. Your mom raises you one way and for the longest time, there's no real reasoning. It's just because "Mom says so". You don't question it...(well you can't really you'd probably get a whoopin, spanking, whatever you want to call it) you just know that there are certain things you aren't allowed to do. But as you get older, yea you start to realize the value of these life lessons and appreciate them, but if we're honest with ourselves its so much more than that. We don't do those things because "Mommy says so" or because their such "great lessons" we don't do them because we love our Mom so much and don't want to disappoint her. We appreciate her as a person who spent ALL this time to invest in raising up a child with love and certain principles and no matter how grown we are now, where we are in the world, we STILL feel it in the pit of our stomach anytime we even THINK about going against that. That feeling is exactly how I feel about Christ. Getting to that point where you care for him so deeply that you don't want to ever disappoint him, and its not enough to ask for forgiveness. Every time you disappoint him, it literally grieves your spirit and you do absolutely everything in your power to not do it again.

This is definitely a process and I'm not saying that its easy at all. Every day I attempt at it, and some days are better than others. But I'm learning that if I love Christ so much and care that every detail of my life be lived unto him, than that is really what I have to do. Every detail of my life has to be lived according to his principles, no questions asked! That is so extremely challenging. That means my actions, the things I say, the things I think, the way I let my heart feel, whether or not I care when someone cutts me off in line, my motivations, whether or not I hold the door for someone, or tell the lady who's been keeping me on hold for THIRTY minutes, Thank you. This is so hard to do, it means being completely vulnerable and letting the Holy Spirit into every crevice of my life. Am I ready for that? Yes...Yes..Yessss and so are you!! It has been scary I've been seeing things about myself that I never before noticed. But every day I'm given a new opportunity to try again. It's going to happen, we're going to sin and fall short, but learning how to learn from our mistakes and walk in His principles to the best of our ability is so essential to our spiritual growth! And when I say "spiritual growth" I don't mean anything, but getting closer to God. I find that the hardest times to walk in Christ's principles is when we KNOW that we're right. Like if someone is doing something completely out of line and doing all these shortcuts and in our mind doesn't "deserve" to be treated a certain way. Even if someone has stepped outside of Christ's principles and is completely defying God, and if you doing the "right" thing makes it seem like they were right or that they had some kind of advantage, YOU still have to act in Christ and for Christ.

That is something that I personally struggle with all the time. It is so hard, I feel so often that if someone is in the wrong then it is my responsibility to "teach them a lesson". But I have to remember that I, Mary Tillman-Young, am the judge of no one! I am not responsible for anybody's spiritual growth. I can be a vessel and let God use me, but in no way am I to "teach somebody a lesson" by responding with the same hatred in which they've used. How does that separate me from them? NO! That's God's job. I can let myself be used through excellence and seeking Christ. Who knows, the very action that debilitates you to do, could be the action that completely liberates your enemy. When Battling with this, I always think about Christ's example he set for us. Do you remember when he was in Mount Olives, right before he was seized by the soldiers after praying and having his disciples fall asleep on Him? Remember how one of his disciples was ready to fight the soldiers and cut off a soldier's ear? Well what did Jesus do....He was in his darkest hour, about to be crucified, brutally beaten and embarrassed before thousands of people, He knew that they soldiers were in the "wrong" yet he healed that soldiers ear despite everything. Wow... I can't help but think, if Jesus had his life literally on the line, but still found it in him to respond with humility, kindness and excellence in Christ, than why can't I walk away from an argument? Why can't I be respectful in situations where I'm very disrespected, why can't I live in excellence no matter what chaos is around me? I can! Jesus did and so can we! It's amazing to realize just what it means to be Christ like.

These are just some of the things that God put in my heart this semester. Things that I'm working on to perfect my walk. Don't get it twisted, it's NOT easy and it takes work. But it is beyond worth it, if it means pleasing Christ and being a daily reminder to others what it means to Love Jesus so much, that you'd do EVERY single thing unto Him. I am sorry that I have been jumping around so much but I pray that through this, the Holy Spirit reveals something to you, just absolutely anything that helps you build a closer relationship to Christ. I pray that as the Thanksgiving holidays approach one of the things that everyone can be thankful for is learning how to do everything unto Christ, who loved us so much that he lived, died and rose again as a testament of his love for us. " So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him"- Romans 12:1 "Don't hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you've got it in you, get along with everybody. Don't insist on getting even; that's not for you to do. "I'll do the judging," says God. "I'll take care of it." Our Scriptures tell us that if you see your enemy hungry, go buy that person lunch, or if he's thirsty, get him a drink. Your generosity will surprise him with goodness. Don't let evil get the best of you; get the best of evil by doing good." - Romans 12:17-21